Muckey Landing In-Person Audition How-To and Whatnot

Muckey Landing - a  sort of a podcast

So I wanted to give this post a really funny title to enhance my street cred as a writer of awesomely comedic stuff, thereby enticing hoards of actors to fall all over themselves to audition for my podcast, but I’m experiencing a case of comedy brain blow-out this morning, and I ain’t got nothin’. Before anybody like Bruce says it — no, I wasn’t out drinking at Roma’s Sul Tempo last night. And he would know, because he’s got every bar in Dover wired to his butt and somehow ALWAYS MANAGES TO SHOW UP every time Mike and I go there. Just sayin’.

So, you wanna attend an in-person audition and get picked to be a big-timey voice actor on Muckey Landing – a sort of a podcast, huh? Well, here’s more of the low-down on how you can do that. First off, I assume you’ve already read my previous blog post on how to request an audition slot. If you haven’t, go read it now. I’ll wait.

After you’ve emailed me and I’ve finally gotten off my lazy ass and sent you an email to tell you when to show up at the Kent County Theatre Guild in Dover (hereinafter referred to as “the Guild”) for this here audition thingy, you have two choices on how to prepare. You can either spend your time obsessively going over all the available monologues, selecting and discarding the three you want to audition with over and over again while trying them out with different voices in the bathroom because the echo in there makes it sound like you’re on the radio, or you can skim through a couple of monologues five minutes before you stroll out the door and hope for the best. We prefer the former.

Once you arrive at “the Guild” at the scheduled time, you’ll find a few other people there — me, Mike, and Bruce for sure, and also other folks who are also there to audition. Try not to hate on the other auditioners, they’ve got as much right to be there as you do. And besides, if you get cast, they might, too, and then you’re going to have to pretend like you didn’t hate them after all and become one big happy family, like we’re required to do in the performing arts.

After everybody’s arrived, I’ll give you auditioning people a little speech wherein I’ll introduce those of us involved in the production of this little show, how Muckey Landing came to be, what we’re doing with it, and how we’re going to conduct these auditions. I like to hear myself talk, so at some point, Mike will tell me to shut the hell up and get on with it.

We’ll bring you up on stage one at time to audition while the other auditioners remain out in the lobby being very, very quiet because recording is in progress. (Note to other auditioners: Don’t make me come out there.) You’ll have a music stand to place your audition pieces on if you want it, and you’ll be speaking into a mic on a floor stand that we’ll adjust just for you because you’re special. We’ll do a sound check with you, and then record your audition pieces. Keep your chins up while you’re reading (literally — you’ll sound better if you’re not swallowing your sound looking down at a piece of paper), and try to knock our socks off. Really, we like being sockless.

Once you’ve done your readings, we may capriciously decide to have you read with Mike and Bruce, depending on what mood we’re in. (Bruce, this means you do have to actually show up for this, so plan on doing your laundry on Sunday instead.) Don’t read anything into it if we ask you to do this — it may be because I need to keep the two of them occupied because they’re getting mouthy and starting to get into trouble. Once you’ve left your soul on the stage and we’ve sucked every bit of acting ability right out of you, you’re free to leave “the Guild” and get on with your life.

Sometime after we’ve recorded everybody’s live auditions on October 12 and 19, we’ll throw the live audition recordings in with the online digital auditions we’ve received and listen to them all over again, because we’re that serious and meticulous and also gluttons for punishment. We’ll contact everyone after we’ve done that and made some decisions.

Some of you may be invited in to read and record because we have a part already written that you’re perfect for. Some of you we’ll keep in our back pockets (insert fart joke here) for future reference because we haven’t written anything you’re right for yet, but we might in the future. One or two of you may just be goddam awful, but we’ll keep you, too, just maybe in a side drawer or down in the basement somewhere. You never know, plus we’re certainly not gonna burn any bridges at this point.

So that’s the story for now. Keep an eye out for what we’re doing by checking in here at and following our Facebook page. So I don’t feel like I’m shouting into the void here — it’s a lonely experience, writing and blogging — feel free to leave any comments, questions, catcalls or deep thoughts below. I’d love to hear from you folks!

Posted by Chris Polo - Muckey Landing Writer/Creator/Director


Chris: Good luck with it. Can’t wait to listen when you finally get your shit together!! XOXOXO Jim.

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