- Virgil Slatter – Mike Polo
- Harmon Truesdale – Bruce Leister
- Aloysius – Darin Dell
- Myrtle Myrkle/Mabel Sprout – Gina Shuck
- Chief Neville Cheefe – Dick Pack
- Doral Bernstein – Patti Gatto
- Velma Bellazamboni – Kristin Garramone
- Mitch Pohunk – Kevin Smith
- Psycho Bob – Dave Crown
- Luke Yoder/Dickie Butz – Will McVay
- Uncle Yoder – Claude Warnick
- Bunny Slatter – Charles Keenan
- Buck Firken – Jeff Bellon
- Sammy Fraudiddler – Andrew Hertzberg
- Rodney DuPlant/Floyd Grimes – John Hulse
- Ashley Hachache – Jill Lewandowski
- Frederick Tweed – John Levine
- Rita Tweed – Maureen Levine
- Ruger Codger – Mike Barko
- Newt Newberger – Austin Topper
Crew
- Writer/Producer: Chris Polo
- Sound Design: Mike Polo
- Music Director/Composer: Jim Rezac
- Photographer: Lisa Vest